Who knows who Steve Sax is??? Who knows who Chuck Knoblauch is??? Or, how about Rick Ankiel??? (the pitchers version) What do you all remember them most for? Most people reading this blog would say their issues with throwing at one point or another in their career.
One of the most infamous and mind boggling topics in sports these days is getting "the Yips" when it comes to throwing a baseball. Most are terrified of this subject, especially if you are currently playing the game, because nobody really understands the how or why of it all. So for the first time ever, I am going to let the world (or at least the people reading this blog) in on a little secret. I had "the Yips"!! Yup, little 'ol me. It actually happens more then most know about. There are professional coaches all over the globe who can't throw a baseball. Professionals who at one time could put the ball wherever they wanted, whenever they wanted. And now, all they can do is cringe at the sight of a baseball, especially when somebody asks them to play catch or better yet, throw Batting Practice.
That is really the issue at hand for most professional coaches, batting practice. Most people out there would laugh at this but it is true. When certain coaches are asked to throw BP in their organizations, the emotion of "OH SHIT" quickly runs through their veins. It is quite a frightful feeling that I am well aware of. Your stomach crawls, your heart drops and you start sweating on the spot. Your heart beat rises and there is nothing you can do to run or hide from it. "The Yips" it's called. Not really sure who came up with that name but the person should be rich by now.
So this is how it goes. When I was towards the end of my playing career I was going from workout to workout trying to get picked up by independent baseball teams. My whole life was fixed around gaining velocity. I couldn't throw the fastball like I wanted to and was utterly obsessed by it. Night and day I searched for a pitching coach or a baseball god who could show me the way. I wanted velocity!! I knew that if I could just throw a faster fastball I could be that big league pitcher that little kids are in awe of. The more obsessed I got, the closer to disaster I was getting. As I went to these workouts I started a make believe world in my head. I thought up every scenario in the book to the point that I believed people were making fun of me because of my velocity. Here I was, I pitched in college, I pitched professionally but still was slowly creeping towards self destruction. I remember at one workout I couldn't hit the broad side of a barn. The ball wouldn't even cross home plate. I was everywhere and felt no reason of why it was happening, but boy was I scared. Little by little towards the end of my career it got worse and worse. I wanted to continue playing but by this point it wasn't worth the stress I was putting on myself. All that I wanted was a couple more miles per hour on my Fastball and what it turned into was a complete panic. I really didn't know how bad it was until I got my first professional coaching job.
It was with the Montreal Expos. I was 25 years old and ready to roll. This was my first experience inside a true, Major League Organization. I was so excited and ready to conquer the world but I forgot one thing. I didn't believe in myself in some ways. There were things I could do as a coach and I felt very confident and aware of my ability. But when it came to some on the field stuff I felt I was inferior. That is where BP came in to the picture. The time I spent towards the end of my career, making up a story in my head that I wasn't good enough or people were making fun of me because I didn't throw hard. All those stories were right where I left them when it was time to throw BP. I felt judged and quite inadequate when really there were no facts whatsoever to support my made up story.
So there I was in the middle of the action and really no understanding of how I got there or better yet, how the heck I was going to get out of it. This was the first time in my life where I knew I was in trouble and didn't realize what the solution was. Stuck in a problem I saw no way out of. Fast forward to January of 2011 and I was finally ready to move on from this nightmare of a situation. That's right, 2011. It had been about 8 years or so that I hung on to this made up belief, that I wasn't good enough and people were laughing at me and that I don't belong because I have trouble with BP. It took years of seesawing back and forth until I finally was fed up with it all. For most of the viewers out there I am sure you are wondering why it took so long for me to finally get fed up. I can't really answer that, it is different for everyone. But for me, I just couldn't handle the fear of throwing BP in front of the team I worked with and having everyone know how bad it really was. I did that over and over and I really let it tear me up inside. Until I finally started understanding perspective and also growing up on the inside. Until I realized this issue had nothing to do with anything else but how I thought about myself. The thoughts I practiced were debilitating, so I just started to work on creating different thoughts.
I worked on BP for two months before the 2011 Spring Training opening day. I threw well all the way up to that point but still had not been in front of professional ballplayers and professional coaches who knew about all the trouble I was having. It takes a lot to shut out all those people watching and wondering what is going to come out of that arm when you start throwing the ball. Some are supportive, some don't care at all, and of course some want to see you fail. But again, that has nothing to do with me. No matter how anyone felt about me, that didn't and doesn't matter, it all had to do with how I felt about me. So when I got to Spring Training it was time to get in there and prove to myself I could finally get past all this bullshit I put in my head. For the first couple weeks I threw quite well but man was it tough to keep my focus and get prepared to throw each day. I was so nervous each time I threw and had to concentrate so hard on keeping my focus and thoughts in a healthy place that it was almost not even worth the throwing.
Then it happened....the breakthrough. I was having a couple difficult days of throwing and looked pretty bad during BP. One time I actually had to step outside the cage because it was that bad. But in the past I would let that defeat me and I would go back in my cave for weeks at a time and sometimes months before even trying to throw again. But this time something felt different. I didn't care about what it felt like or looked like, I just cared that I wanted to feel better and that was more important than anything. So the next day I got back in the cage and started throwing. The start of BP was pretty brutal again and I was a bit worried at first. This time though, I started to loosen up. I started to tell the hitters coming into the cage that they better put their hard hat on because I am not leaving this cage. I started to make a joke of it and have fun with it each time I threw the ball and it missed the target by a mile. But as I loosened up more and more and took away the serious tone to BP that I was putting towards it, things started to get easier and easier. The next thing I knew I was throwing strike after strike and really started having some fun. I was talking smack to the guys and just living it up. The rest of spring training and extended spring training I was fine and threw every day. When my short season started in Tennessee I even threw all 3 groups some days. The big bosses would come in and it would rattle me some but I wouldn't let it take me over. I knew who I was and how I could accomplish what I wanted to accomplish and it all came together.
Now this is not to say I still don't have thoughts of fear or get nervous at times. And this is not to say I won't have any more bad days. But what it does mean is that I know the process to get back to where I want to be. I will never be lost any more. I got back on the road I wanted to travel and now am familiar with that feeling. Once you can get to the feeling place of where you need to be to accomplish something, the rest is easy. You just follow the road and enjoy!!!
More to come on this topic soon......
Monday, October 31, 2011
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Perspective is Power!
Everything in life is perspective. The way you choose to perceive experiences in your life is how you get what you want out of your life experiences. If each experience is just perceived as a way to move forward with more clarity, then each day should become richer, more lively, and better.
The easiest example of this is the current player you are watching in the World Series, right now, Albert Pujols. Sure, I could really mention any of the current players on either roster because they all come equipped with stories of how they made it to the 2011 World Series. But when people mention Albert Pujols, you listen. His presence is obvious and powerful and how he got there was through an amazing perspective. I partly say this because I have listened to him talk in the past several years I have been with the Cardinals Organization. I also say this because look at his life, look at his manifestations, look at how he creates, listen to how he talks, look at how he carries himself, listen to the words he speaks, listen to the clarity of his voice. It is oozing from every pore in his body. And once again it happened the other night. What happened you asked, well, perspective happened.
Albert Pujols was just another hitter in the first two games of the World Series, actually he wasn't even average at that time, when you look at the numbers. I believe he started 0 for 8. If he carried that 0 for 8 into game 3 he would have probably finished that game 0 for 12. Especially after the way the media was tearing him up for the defensive mishap he had in the ninth inning of game 2. But again, listen to how he talks. The media interviewed him the next day and asked him about the defensive play. Their perspective was that he let the team down, could have had an easy out at third base if he would have caught the relay throw. Then the media was giving it to him a little more about the 0 for 8 start.
Now for Albert's perspective. His response to the botched relay throw was simple. He lost focus for a second, the ball cut on him and he wasn't able to make the play. His response to the 0 for 8 start was just as simple. Albert said he was making great swings and hitting the ball hard it was just not falling for him. You see, this game of baseball is goofy. Timing is everything. It just so happened that Albert had a defensive mishap at a key time in the season. But does that make the decade and more that he has played and won gold gloves defensively just disappear? Not at all, in fact, that is why Albert can have the perspective that he has. He is trained that way. He knows who he is, the results don't control his mind, he does. The same goes for the hitting side of things. Albert is one of the best hitters who has ever played the game of baseball. He knows there are going to be times that he will go 0 for whatever, but he also knows how to view the game. His perspective is with each current AB. The result can't matter because nobody gets on base or gets a hit with every AB. If Albert got fixated on each AB the game would be a roller coaster and there is no way he would have ever been Albert Pujols. Instead, Albert takes the perspective of putting a good approach or process to each AB. If the result comes then great, if not, he goes back to the process and clears his mind. So he was able to take all that information from the first two games and then made sure his perspective was in the right place, then he went to work. The result.....3 homeruns and a 5 for 6 night!!
Perspective is a beautiful thing. It can always work for you and work in your favor, all you have to do is practice. Practice making perspective your best friend. Practice your points of view in life and in baseball and things will start to roll your way more and more. Don't be so impatient with all this. Take your time, take a step back, take a look at your life and how things are going for you. Learn about how you look at things more and more. Stop blaming the guy next to you. Who cares, just keep practicing and little by little things will come around, I promise!!!
Ok, all for now...enjoy your week and keep it moving!!
The easiest example of this is the current player you are watching in the World Series, right now, Albert Pujols. Sure, I could really mention any of the current players on either roster because they all come equipped with stories of how they made it to the 2011 World Series. But when people mention Albert Pujols, you listen. His presence is obvious and powerful and how he got there was through an amazing perspective. I partly say this because I have listened to him talk in the past several years I have been with the Cardinals Organization. I also say this because look at his life, look at his manifestations, look at how he creates, listen to how he talks, look at how he carries himself, listen to the words he speaks, listen to the clarity of his voice. It is oozing from every pore in his body. And once again it happened the other night. What happened you asked, well, perspective happened.
Albert Pujols was just another hitter in the first two games of the World Series, actually he wasn't even average at that time, when you look at the numbers. I believe he started 0 for 8. If he carried that 0 for 8 into game 3 he would have probably finished that game 0 for 12. Especially after the way the media was tearing him up for the defensive mishap he had in the ninth inning of game 2. But again, listen to how he talks. The media interviewed him the next day and asked him about the defensive play. Their perspective was that he let the team down, could have had an easy out at third base if he would have caught the relay throw. Then the media was giving it to him a little more about the 0 for 8 start.
Now for Albert's perspective. His response to the botched relay throw was simple. He lost focus for a second, the ball cut on him and he wasn't able to make the play. His response to the 0 for 8 start was just as simple. Albert said he was making great swings and hitting the ball hard it was just not falling for him. You see, this game of baseball is goofy. Timing is everything. It just so happened that Albert had a defensive mishap at a key time in the season. But does that make the decade and more that he has played and won gold gloves defensively just disappear? Not at all, in fact, that is why Albert can have the perspective that he has. He is trained that way. He knows who he is, the results don't control his mind, he does. The same goes for the hitting side of things. Albert is one of the best hitters who has ever played the game of baseball. He knows there are going to be times that he will go 0 for whatever, but he also knows how to view the game. His perspective is with each current AB. The result can't matter because nobody gets on base or gets a hit with every AB. If Albert got fixated on each AB the game would be a roller coaster and there is no way he would have ever been Albert Pujols. Instead, Albert takes the perspective of putting a good approach or process to each AB. If the result comes then great, if not, he goes back to the process and clears his mind. So he was able to take all that information from the first two games and then made sure his perspective was in the right place, then he went to work. The result.....3 homeruns and a 5 for 6 night!!
Perspective is a beautiful thing. It can always work for you and work in your favor, all you have to do is practice. Practice making perspective your best friend. Practice your points of view in life and in baseball and things will start to roll your way more and more. Don't be so impatient with all this. Take your time, take a step back, take a look at your life and how things are going for you. Learn about how you look at things more and more. Stop blaming the guy next to you. Who cares, just keep practicing and little by little things will come around, I promise!!!
Ok, all for now...enjoy your week and keep it moving!!
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